Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
