just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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