my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
