It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
