ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
farters have to be the big spoon...
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
