Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
