so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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