Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
