you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
