And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
