I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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