god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
When are your genitals available?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
