the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize