I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
