sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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