I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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