After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
