Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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