OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
