Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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