when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
