yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
