YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
