You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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