I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
