What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
