we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
