I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
