hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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