Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
