Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Randomize
