I think my vagina is haunted
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
