I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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