sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Randomize
