thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I touched a dick in church today
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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