just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
