Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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