i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
