Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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