I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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