I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
