Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
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