girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
