Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
