You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
