absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
