Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am available for nakedness
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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