OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
