mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
