why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
