Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
