...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
